My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
too bad you live with your parents still
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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