we have officially lost it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
