dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
