So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
