Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize