Swine flu. Run for my life!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i think my cat just said my name.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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