Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
