Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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