I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
