love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
