i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
