Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
