3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
