She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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