i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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