You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
