Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
