need another drink. this is the easiest way
wanna go halves on a baby?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
