Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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