she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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