he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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