There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize