we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
