I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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