just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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