Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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