He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
