so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
