Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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