Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want to make out with him forever
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
