He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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