Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
