at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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