and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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