i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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