we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm passing your future prison.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
bring money and cleavage
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
