I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
