Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
