I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We got so high we made milksteak
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
