I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
