I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
