im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize