Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
