THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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