Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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