almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
