I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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