I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
