At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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