Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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