I want to make a zoo with you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i drank out of a bidet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
