hell yes lets make some ravioli
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
