Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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