Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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