My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
