We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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