so explain again why im purple
no
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
