he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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