Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
