I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
