Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
