How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Im part way to drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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