He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
