A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
