But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i think i have two assholes
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
