There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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