We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
