Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
